Theoretical Basis for Expressing Grief and Loss Through Art
Understanding Grief and Loss: An Overview
Grief is personal and individual, and every person experiences its nuances differently. Your personality, your support system, your natural coping mechanisms and many other things will determine how loss will affect you. At that place are no rules, no timetables, and no linear progression. Some people feel better afterwards a few weeks or months, and for others information technology may have years. And in the midst of recovery there may be setbacks — this nonlinear process tin't exist controlled. It'southward critical that you care for yourself with patience and compassion and allow the process to unfold.
Beneath yous'll find some insights into the stages and symptoms of grief. We've also nerveless some advice from professionals near how to best get through the grieving procedure. We hope that the following information volition aid y'all accomplish a place in your process where, in spite of your grief, you are better able to function and live on a daily basis.
Grief is frequently described in stages, though each stage may terminal for a dissimilar period of time — for some people, the stages may exist briefer or longer than for others, and some people may non experience all of them. But acknowledging that you may feel some or all of these stages will help you empathize what may be happening. And you lot should non pass judgment on yourself or allow others to — you have the right to grieve and to fully experience your grief. Your feelings are normal, and it's important to remember that at some point, it volition get better. You may non become over your loss, only you will survive it. The five general stages of grief, as described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:
Deprival: This can't be happening.
Anger: Why did this happen? Who is to blame?
Bargaining: Make this non happen and I will…
Low: I can't bear this; I'm too sorry to do annihilation.
Credence: I acknowledge that this has happened, and I cannot alter it.
While the five stages of grief may appear to be steps in a process, they are not. Even Kübler-Ross said that the stages are not meant to neatly package up grief — in that location is no typical loss and no typical grief. Grieving is equally individual as we are and is non a linier procedure.
Grief indicators, the common signs and symptoms of grief
Daze and disbelief: Information technology's hard to accept a death. You may feel numb and question whether the loss actually happened — this isn't unusual. Some have noted their initial reluctance to even notify others of a loss in case it turned out to be untrue. This is a normal reaction, every bit is yet expecting someone to call or write or show upward, fifty-fifty if intellectually y'all accept accustomed their death.
Sadness: Profound sadness is a universal experience, and can often lead to a feeling of aloneness or isolation. We sometimes believe that no one can sympathize the depth of our grief, which drives us deeper into sorrow.
Guilt: You may feel guilt over things y'all said or did — or those you didn't and felt you should accept. In cases of suicide, many people question whether they could accept changed the event somehow. Yet there is nothing that can stand in the way of death or a final decision fabricated past someone else, and over fourth dimension we accept to acknowledge and accept that. Still, it's difficult to do in the early days or months of grieving.
Anger: Regardless of how someone we loved died, anger oft comes into play. You lot may be angry with the person for not existence hither anymore, or with caregivers for not doing more. You may arraign God or others. Or you may not exist able to straight your acrimony against a specific source, only find that everyday, small injustices seem much bigger than they might accept in the past. This is normal, and no one should tell yous that you have to cease or permit get of your anger — that will happen somewhen as function of your procedure, on your own timeline.
Fear: A loss can trigger fright on many levels — fright of your own bloodshed, of losing those yous love, of facing life without the person who has died. It tin can include fear of the future and the uncertainty you may at present feel most your life'south plans, knowing that someone close to you has died.
Physical pain: We often think of grief as emotional, simply information technology can manifest physically equally well. Symptoms can include nausea, fatigue, lowered amnesty, weight loss or gain, insomnia, aches and pains and more. Although it tin be quite difficult, information technology's important to do what you can to maintain your health during grief.
Ongoing triggers for grief
During bereavement and afterwards, many things tin trigger a return to intense grief — expected things similar a birthday, a vacation or the ceremony of the death. Or more than subtle experiences similar communicable a aroma of perfume or cologne that reminds y'all of your loved one, or the odor of their favorite food cooking. These are "grief triggers" and they can be long-term challenges.
A common trigger may also be "secondhand" grief. Someone yous hardly knew dies, nonetheless their death may trigger your grief once again. All of this is normal, expected, and something you should allow yourself to feel; exercise non judge yourself for reacting or not reacting to whatever of these triggers. Developmental issues can likewise trigger grief, especially for children — when a girl has to offset loftier school without her mom; when a boy turns 16 and doesn't have his dad to teach him how to drive. Even smaller events, similar a young girl missing her large sister'southward back up as she's nearly to become a Girl Spotter, can trigger a feeling of loss.
Information technology's important to know that grief triggers exist and may affect you. They are normal, merely if yous're enlightened of them you may exist able to take steps to proceed them to a minimum. Maybe if you're planning to share a holiday or other important result with relatives, talk to them ahead of time about expectations. Propose and hold on strategies that volition laurels the person you loved while allowing you to compassionately support each other.
If y'all have nothing else from this section, please recollect this: care for yourself with kindness, compassion and without judgment. You have the right to grieve, and no 1 — including yourself — tin can tell you when it'due south fourth dimension to end that process.
Myths and facts about grief
MYTH: The pain will get away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore your hurting or keep information technology from surfacing will just make information technology worse in the long run. For existent healing, information technology is necessary to confront your grief and actively deal with it.
MYTH: It'south of import to be "exist strong" in the confront of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad, frightened or alone is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn't mean you are weak. You don't demand to "protect" your family or friends by putting on a brave forepart. Showing your true feelings tin can assistance them and y'all.
MYTH: If y'all don't cry, it ways you aren't distressing most the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it's not the only one. Those who don't cry may feel the pain just equally deeply as others. They may simply have other means of showing it.
MYTH: Grief should last near a year.
Fact: At that place is no right or incorrect timeframe for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. At HealGrief, we believe that grief doesn't go away — we merely learn how to manage it differently day by twenty-four hour period.
You lot can detect more myths and facts on "Grief is and Grief is Not…"
Finding grief support
Ane of the critical factors in healing from grief is the back up of other people. Having support from your family unit, friends, or a customs of others who take as well experienced grief allows you to feel that someone else "gets it." Existence able to share your story or your feelings is vital to the healing process. Places you may find grief support:
Organized religion-based groups: If yous are religious, yous may observe support in your community or with the leader of your church building or temple. They may be able to provide suggestions for rituals or prayer that tin can help. Considering of their role in the community, they may take extensive experience with loss.
Support groups: There are many types of support groups for both general and specific types of loss. If this feels intimidating, recollect that you can attend a grouping and just listen. You won't be forced to speak until you're comfortable, and you may draw comfort from beingness in a community of others who accept some understanding of the depth of your grief. You lot can find local support groups on HealGrief.org.
Therapists or counselors: Sometimes, talking to a professional with experience in grief counseling can aid you work through some of the intense emotions you may be feeling. It's normal to feel vulnerable during grief, and you lot might not ever want to share your thoughts with the people in your daily life. A compassionate third party who has grief feel may help you overcome obstacles to your healing. Yous can discover more resources here.
Community : Yous may be a private person or not have a local network of support. Here at HealGrief, you lot can post your thoughts and feelings in our community healing section, or read the postings of others who have suffered a similar loss. Through this community, you may feel less isolated.
Ways to take care of yourself
When you're grieving, information technology is both important and difficult to take care of yourself. Your loss may have away your energy, your ambition and your emotional reserves.
Permit yourself to grieve: Oft we button the grief away, or tamp it downwardly by distracting ourselves with activities or tasks. Trying to avoid grief simply leads to prolonging it — the grief has to be allowed to surface. Unresolved grief can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse and health problems.
Limited your feelings in a tangible style: This can exist done in many ways, depending on your creativity or usual means of expression. You tin write about your loss in a journal, or ship a private annotation to the person yous've lost. Y'all can make a scrapbook, photograph album or create an online memorial celebrating that person's life. You can also go involved in an organization or philanthropy that was meaningful to them, or make a donation in their proper name.
Be physically good for you: Your mind and torso are connected, and physical health helps with the emotional healing procedure. It'southward natural to feel lethargic or low energy, but if you're able to take a walk or a run, it will promote the process. Combat your fatigue with an appropriate amount of sleep, and cull foods that provide you non just with comfort simply free energy.
Don't judge yourself, or let others judge y'all: You are immune to grieve for as long and every bit deeply every bit you need to. No one — including yourself — tin tell y'all when to "motility on" or "get over it." It's okay to exist aroused, to cry, not cry, or even laugh — you lot need to allow for moments of joy in your grief, and experience no guilt for having a moment without pain. Nosotros recommend that yous read the Mourner'due south Bill of Rights, to reassure yourself of your "right" to grieve.
When grief doesn't get abroad
Information technology's normal to feel numb, angry, sorry or even depressed following a loss. Merely every bit time passes those emotions should lessen in their severity. If you aren't feeling any better over time or are experiencing whatever of the post-obit, you may exist suffering from a condition chosen "complicated grief" or you may be experiencing actual depression. If left untreated, both complicated grief and depression can lead to meaning health problems, emotional damage and more than.
Source: https://healgrief.org/understanding-grief/
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